Happy New Year!
Since it’s Jan 1, have you started thinking about the famous…New Year, New Me…phrase? Not so fast…starting your new year with “new year, new me” can leave you feeling super deflated by Jan 15.
I hear so often from clients that in the new year they’ll start this “new” thing they’ve been meaning to start, or they’ll really get to the gym in the new year (or whatever it is)… so let’s start this new year with SKIPPING all of these thoughts.
When it comes to making new years resolutions, really we’d rather you stick with resolving to just being YOU. Sure, you can absolutely improve upon things and strive to be a better you, but perhaps we should be doing that all year long (I think yes)- not just around Jan 1.
To help you really resolve to love the YOU that you are, we’ve come up with 3 reasons to ditch the New Year, New Me Motto.
3 Big Reasons to Ditch the “New Year, New Me” Motto
1. There’s nothing wrong with the you now. Yep, I said it.
You’re perfect the way you are. Yeah, sure we all get a case of the “shoulds” now and then… like
- I shouldn’t have done that.
- If only I had been brave enough to say this.
- Why didn’t I start then?
All of these “could”, “should”, “would” haves floating in the air, saying the you that you are isn’t good enough, it really doesn’t get us anywhere.
What is so wrong about me now? The answer is nothing.
All of the choices we have made in life have lead us to this brave place, (often the end of a calendar year), a place where we are ready and willing to make changes in our lives to achieve the things we want.
Continue on with that bravery. Declare to the world what it is that you want. You are already courageous. You are already wonderful. You are already open, loving, compassionate, and powerful. Don’t discredit the person you have become the last X amount of years and say you want to be new and different- instead, believe you are already great, and see your potential to become greater.
Here’s how to do it: For 5 minutes day I challenge you to spend time thinking about the things that you ARE and that you LOVE about yourself. And write them down, be accountable to them. Start that today.
2. Don’t let time dictate your motivation to change.
“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives”
If there is something you really want in life, there is no reason to put restrictions and rules on how you go about achieving it. So why do we so often wait until the start of a new year to work towards our goals? Why do we give ourselves a starting date? Let’s be challenged to start RIGHT NOW!
In my experience, when I hear clients give themselves hard and fast goals and specific dates to abide by, it almost never works out in their favor- in fact, it often works out the opposite.
Here’s how to do it: Make general goals, things that will positively influence your happiness, freedom and sense of self- not that will deprive and restrict. Be kind to yourself and if you fall off the wagon, hop back on as fast as you fell off. Want to get started? Start doing this today.
Getting into the habit of building your new habit is 90% of the battle!
When you decide you want to make a change, set your plan of action and start now.
3. Expectations kill! Start practicing detachment.
It’s so easy to get wrapped in the frenzy of New Years Resolutions and dream of all the things you want to change. It is a wonderfully healthy thing to reflect on your accomplishments and plan for the future – but be careful not to expect everything will be different right away.
Big lifestyle changes take time, and the smartest things to take into your New Year’s Resolutions are forgiveness and compassion for yourself; and while the New Year may represent a blank slate, your ways of being, personality, and old habits do not magically disappear.
For example, if you set a goal to lose 50 pounds by June, are you going to feel discouraged if you don’t lose all 50 pounds by the end of January? What about by the end of February? March? Imagine going through life not being attached to desired results. Not judging ourselves for the things we don’t achieve, and looking at the things we DO achieve along the way. Practicing detachment can really actually help us reach our goals because it helps us look more objectively at the entire situation and what’s really going on in the process, versus being solely fixated on the end goal.
Here’s how to do it: The challenge: REFLECT each week on what you did to get you towards your greater goal. Did you choose to stay in and cook instead of a night out grabbing drinks with friends? Or was being with friends more important to you this week? Either way, no problem and no judgements. Simply engaging awareness to your choices makes a lifestyle change much more attainable and realistic.
The takeaway? In the frenzy of the New Year, be realistic in your goal planning. Be realistic in knowing change doesn’t happen overnight, and be prepared that things don’t always go as expected. If you’re going for something you really want, you’ll find the value in any and every battle, and keep trying. After all, “failure” doesn’t come from falling down, it comes from staying down.
So make grand declarations of the things you will achieve in 2019. Do be brave. Do realize you are worth it! Create a plan of action for yourself, but try to not expect things to change immediately. Set your sights on your resolutions of achieving improvement, happiness success, and know you don’t need to create a brand new you to do it. We love you just the way you are.